The fashion world has spoken and bulges are in for 2014! And if you want to be super high-fashiony, go for semi-transparent bulges. It's a real statement. I mean, you don't work hard on your bulge at the gym (or at home) to not show it off, right?
What pairs best with a bulge? A goofball grin that screams innocent fun. Bulges aren't just for perverts anymore. They are going mainstream. All the way from the runways in Paris to a sidewalk and public restroom near you. That should make us all happy.
Though we don't have true bulge victory until bulges are the norm in such situations as Grammy acceptance speeches, cable TV installation, and that hot guy across the street filling his hummingbird feeder. Let's dream of a world where everyone knows that the perfect accessory to any look is a massive dick bulge. I think a national holiday may be on the horizon.