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In an alternate universe, He's So Unusual would've been the name of Sidney Lauper's smash hit 1983 album all about unusually shaped cock. As it stands, Cyndi Lauper's She's So Unusual included masturbation anthem She Bop, so our universe fared pretty well.

The shortest distance between two points (say the base of a guy's dick and the back of your throat) is a straight line. But why not take the scenic route? Much more memorable than a straight line is a wonky one that's swollen, bent, twisted and nasty. A unique cock-shaped detour going in and out before squirting everywhere. After all, when a guy blows, the cum doesn't go in a straight line either.

So what about bendy dick fucking? All about the angles, folks. Twist those bodies however you need to get that sweet spot going. And if you're stroking an unusual dick (yours or his) let your hands mold just right. Listen to the dick. It will guide you.

Did I just accidentally form a spiritual order of curved cock? How strange!


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