Guy Watching: Jocks Forever

At what point was an entire type of person named after a jockstrap? Not logical, I know. But logic goes out the window when bulges and muscles are involved. And without logic, I have all sorts of great ideas of a first date.

Forget the whole "Let's meet for coffee" thing, which yes is my standby if meeting someone in person for the first time. Better to meet while he's in the middle of changing his clothes outside. Or in the middle of having a boner on the train. Or in the middle of having a naked chest when he walks by with a naked chest.

Those are all the perfect times to jump in with a "So where are you from?" or a "Where do you see yourself in 5 minutes?"

I know it's supposed to be "Where do you see yourself in 5 years but I've never met anyone who sees themselves anywhere in 5 years. At least if I ask about 5 minutes, I'll get a "Still talking to you" or "Filing a restraining order against you."

It's important to know where you stand with a guy.

2015 was the hottest year on record, so we're all fucked as far as environmental extremes. But on the plus side, more guys in less clothes! Clearly that's why all the climate-change deniers are pro status quo. They want to see more skin. Ingenious.

I want to see more skin too, but indoors is fine if it's cold out. In my bedroom is fine if it's cold out. In my, well you get the picture.

[Photos via Everyday Hotness and Straight Guys Naked Selfies]