National treasure and Olympic muffdiver Ellen Degeneres launched a national search for her Ellen underwear model and a winner was recently crowned/stripped. She'd been inspired by the tongues out response to the Calvin Klein underwear commercial at the superbowl. By the way, I know superbowl should be in uppercase, but I just can't give it that respect. Maybe if they add male cheerleaders, I'll get on board.

After reviewing video submissions for a couple of weeks (to the alternating titters and gasps of her studio audience), she brought in five finalists to compete for the honor. The winner was Mike, who she then named Gluteus Mikimus. Or is that Mikeimus? He does seem to have some new ass muscles heretofore unseen by America. He's a veteran with a Purple Heart medal, and also a lover of 50 SPF sunscreen and tacky sandals. Here's the live commercial she presented.

My conclusion from the commercial is he wears his dick up but that the undies are also somewhat padded to avoid visible penis and ball lines. You know a guy has an amazing body when he can still look sexy under unforgiving studio lighting while a rich, horny married woman gives the play by play. My favorite part is when he fucks up miming a trombone. Off with his head! I mean off with his underwear!

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