Giant Butt Plug Terrorizes Paris Giant Butt Plug Terrorizes Paris

Wackadoodle artistic genius Paul McCarthy (no relation to Jenny McCarthy as I said "genius") created an 80 foot tall inflatable green sculpture and plopped it down in the heart of Paris. Despite being called Tree, it was somehow mistaken for a butt plug, raising the ire of anti-art wingnuts who vandalized it. And the way you vandalize a giant inflatable green butt plug is to deflate it. Poor giant butt plug, we hardly knew you!

Oh yeah, he's an artist (a highly-respected one by people who pay attention) which somehow is beside the point to the folks who hated what he made, like he would like the art from their stupid kids they stick to their stupid refrigerators (of, ironically, actual trees).

How did they even know it resembled a pluge de le derrière unless they'd seen one? In a mirror? In their own ass? Well, to be fair, maybe they saw a butt plug while protesting a sex toy shop, which is a true public service. Forget feeding the homeless. Destroy art. What's next, vandalizing traffic cones?

And what of the giant inflatable man who had been gearing up to squat down on that plug and take it so deep his ass would be forever green? I guess that would be an artichoke bud instead of a rose bud? Whatever you call it, whoever takes a butt plug so big photo-snapping tourists can't get it in frame unless they are half a mile back, is going to end up with a wrecked hole. I'm talking to you Jolly Green Giant. Now his hole will be empty. That's the true tragedy here.

Somehow amidst #pluggate the media has failed to mention two key things:

  • Paul McCarthy rubbed ketchup on his totally naked body for art in 1974, so this giant green butt plug is nothing (except of course a piece showing in conjunction with his first solo show in France). Beware, the video is merely intellectually arousing. Yes, there's cock. On YouTube. Which is fine because it's art. See, even YouTube gets that.
  • And Tree was certainly inspired by Lego pine trees (see above), themselves butt plugs of a sort.

Now let's all go protest non-butt-plug-related public art. How dare art not be a giant green butt plug! No need to protest ejaculating penis fountains, though, if your city is lucky enough to have one. Now that's form and function.

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