The title of this editorial is what I and probably a lot of dudes shout when we're watching a porn with hot guys that is ruined by the presence of 'performers' who simply have no, and I mean no business being on camera. I've touched lightly on this subject before, but I must spin this broken record again because it seems to be a pandemic as a result of so many amateur porn producers creating their own Web sites and, for some insipid reason, including themselves in the productions simply because they can, not because anyone wants '˜em to be.

Before the Internet came about, porn was produced exclusively for home video or theatrical presentation. In those days, producers were smart enough to know that we don't want to pay to see the slob next door sucking cock, nor do we want to see middle-aged perverts getting their jollies with younger, hotter dudes. But as the Internet has become the main source of porn for all, many self-appointed producers have gotten into the business and apparently think they know what the public wants to see. An unfortunate result is that many of these producer/directors insert themselves into the action, usually as a 'helping hand' or a cocksucker to get young studly dudes off who can't manage it by themselves. With one exception that I'll describe shortly, all of these producers are not people we would ever, ever want to see naked or engaged in any sexual activity. They are generally way out of shape, 45 and up, and sometimes just plain unattractive. Picture the dorky guy at the supermarket or the local football coach or a public transit driver with a dick in his mouth. See what I mean? Not good. I'm not knocking the middle-aged or the average-looking; I'm knocking guys who put themselves in porn because they own the Web site and nobody's going to tell them that it's a bad idea and not good for business. It also gives these old pervs who can't get any action on their own an outlet. By paying young dudes to be in their vids, it's the only way they can get those big hot boy dicks in their mouths. But Jesus H. Christ, do we have to watch it?

One of the keys to being a good porn producer/director is knowing who is sexy enough to be on camera, and who is not. It's knowing that viewers want to see the young hotties, not the over-the-hill trolls who hang out in public parks looking for little boys. It's knowing that a porn is not your own personal playground to get your rocks off just for your own benefit. Hello! Porn is made for an audience. If you wanna film yourself sucking on big dicks, go for it, but don't market it for others. It's a private collection that should stay private. As I write this, this problem seems to grow and grow. In reviewing a variety of gay porn sites recently, I came across at least half a dozen which featured the proprietors of the sites giving head to the models in nearly every fucking clip, and that was enough to turn me right off and realize that there are other better sites out there that focus exclusively on the models and not the production crew.

The one exception to this travesty that comes to mind is Sean Cody, proprietor of the mega-popular Web site of his own name. Sean has inserted himself into many of his vids featuring solos by masculine and muscular studs who don't mind getting serviced. The difference here is that Sean is not repulsive to look at. He's no model, but he does not detract from the appeal of the vids because he's acceptable in appearance and he's actually a really good cocksucker (from the looks of it). Sean can get away with appearing in the vids because he has a sense of skill and he's not some scroty pig copping a feel from guys who wouldn't otherwise give him the time of day. And he's smart enough to know when to stay out of the way. One gets the sense that Sean could have these hot guys whether the camera was turned on or not. As for these other schmuckos, I really wish they'd get the hell off my screen. If they weren't such cheap bastards, they'd paid cute fluffers or co-stars to service the straight studs. Instead, we have to watch these old oinkers slobber all over pretty young boys who are probably thinking to themselves, My God, look at who's between my legs right now. If I wasn't being paid, I think I'd puke all over his fat head.

What can we do about this? Speak up! Too many porn hounds are shy about their habits and don't share their opinions, likes or dislikes with producers. Believe it or not, porn producers do want your feedback, even the arrogant ones. Do what I do. When I find a porn site that has a lot going for it but is ruined by the presence of hideous dudes 'assisting' the models, I write to them and say so. I state it far more tactfully than I state it here, but the point is, if we don't tell them what's wrong, they won't ever know or do anything about it. Of course, some of these producers don't care. They'll continue to put themselves on camera with the pretty boys just to serve their own needs, and those are the sites that get fewer memberships than quality models-only sites. But the producers who do care may heed your opinions. They need to stop being cheap and self-serving and think of us, the viewer, instead of their own sperm count. And that's all I have to say about that!



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