It's a story so sordid, you could only tell it in gay porn-o-vision. According to Extra, a leading Canadian gay and lesbian portal (because 'website' is just so straight), "On Dec 1, Todd Klinck, co-owner of Goodhandy's on Church St in Toronto, attempted to courier a package from the FedEx Kinko's location on University Ave. The destination: to Pierre Fitch, a Montreal-based porn star, who left the DVDs at Klinck's place and needed them back quickly." (Hey, it's porn, bitches.) It was then that the counter guy - we'll call him Lucy - asked to see the items being shipped. Well, retail being what it is, what with those pesky children around any corner at any moment, Klinck opened up his bag to show him 14 movies that - how shall I put this - probably won't be screened at the Disney Company Picnic this year.
Unfortunately, that revelation cost Klinck the opportunity to send the DVDs. But it's what happened next that made the hairs on my perineum stand up:
"Spotting a drop box at the door, Klinck simply grabbed a box, packaged the DVDs himself and popped it in the box. "I said, 'Can't I just drop it in the drop box?'" Klinck says. "The guy said, 'Uhh, yeah, I guess you can.""
Note to self: box gay porn at home. Unfortunately, as it turns out, it actually is an official Fedex policy: No porn. (But don't feel bad or feel that your rights under the Gay Games of 1977 were somehow violated. They won't ship firearms, alcohol or insects either.) And that means there really isn't a story, after all, is there? Company policy is company policy. The good news, however, is that Mr. Fitch did finally receive the porn in a timely manner.