empire dick

I think this is what Alicia Keys and Jay-Z had in mind with their hit of that name. And since I know you're wondering, that dick is not over 1,250 feet tall. It comes in at just a shade under 900 feet.

Honestly, it looks like the cover of a lesbian feminist pamphlet from 1974, served up as proof of the alignment of dick with the military industrial complex. Thankfully, nobody needs proof of that anymore.

Sexual political musings aside, isn't that an awesome lamp? Minimalist yet functional. Probably one of those LED ones. It's just the thing a rich pervert would own. Or more likely the rich person's perverted house cleaner. Dicks! Is there nothing they can't do?

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