Ya know what I think is funny? Oh, lots of things. I think it's funny when a skateboarding punk tries to make a jump to show off, and he lands up on his ass with his feet sticking up in the air. I think it's funny when someone farts in church, and I think it's funny when someone steps in dog crap (except when it's me). Even funnier is when you're watching a porn, and the models' mouths are moving, but nothing's coming out. The humor comes out of the fact that the director and/or editor is so goddamn dumb that he doesn't know how to properly dub sound without it being obvious.

Case in point'now don't get me wrong, I love love love the productions of the Afton Nills Studio. They have some amazing babes and glorious action, but I have often been struck at the ridiculously poor sound editing that happens consistently with nearly every one of their vids. I applaud the producers for attempting to hide inappropriate sounds, but they usually fail miserably, and I can't figure out why they don't re-edit what is obviously unfinished. I have seen a high number of Afton Nills' vids, most of which are available on several connected websites of theirs, and in most of those vids, you can hear the director barking orders at the models.

It's really hot to see two cute guys making out and talking dirty to each other while they go at it. But what's not hot is to hear the director say, 'Okay, now kiss him harder. Yeah, now tell him you want to fuck him. Uh uh. Fuck him harder. Get into it more. Act like you're excited. Alright, now tell him you wanna cum on his face.' Umm, hearing all of these directions is really distracting, annoying, and it totally breaks the mood. It tells you right away that these guys aren't really into what they're doing, and if you thought they were, you're about to be ripped out of the fantasy. Yes yes, I know; porn is not cinema. It doesn't have to be perfect, but cripes, can't you at least edit out the director's voice?

I use Afton Nills as an example, but they are just one of many, many producers who suffer this same issue. Even funnier is when they actually attempt to remove some of the directions that happen to occur at the same time that models are speaking, so what you end up with is models who are clearly talking 'cause you can see their lips moving, but what you hear is canned sound from other sections of the scene that totally don't match the action. As a result, you're wondering what's being said, and you start to get irritated by repetitious sounds of grunting that are 30-second loops, which ultimately sounds like two robots fucking.

At the end of the day, what really matters is how hot the models are and how steamy the action is. In the case of Afton Nills, they could have some dude chortling Venezuelan folks tunes in the background and it couldn't stop you from getting off because the sex is so wonderfully done and the performers are top-notch. Nevertheless, poor sound editing really makes the producers look like big fat fools, and you would think after 50 or 60 productions, they'd get a clue and learn how to edit. There's all kinds of free editing workshops they could take to strengthen their skills. I just think that if studios like these polish themselves up a bit, maybe they wouldn't be seen as amateurs. Although today, the terms amateur and professional in the porn world don't seem to mean much anymore. There aren't too many 'professional' porn producers left. What does this mean for you and me? 'Yeah, that's hot. Tell him you're horny. Yeah, suck his dick like ya mean it. Yeah, now stick your dick in his ear and tell him to call you his mama'. Yikes.

JRE

Editor


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