If there is one thing incurable diseases and progressive causes love more than a cure or a roadmap to Utopia, it's athletic (and chesty) B- and C-List movie stars, athletes, musicians and others in the public eye pitching their causes all over the mainstream press while wearing as little as possible. After all, nothing quite says Let's-End-Leprosy-Tomorrow more than some shirtless, well-defined quarterback, meaningful eyes in tow, asking for just a few shekels each month.

And you've seen it (don't pretend you haven't now): there's Australian-poster-child-for-the impossibly-hot Chris Knights (from the Australian football team: the Adelaide Crows) doing his best 'Is-this-a-playground-for-child?' for the McGrath Foundation. There's also Karina 'Dancing-With-The-Stars' Smirnoff - no relation to Vodka as a general class of beverage - scantily clad, telling us she'd rather be naked than wearing fur.


And now we have Maroon 5 lead singer, the sultry, hirsute Adam Levine pitching England's "Everyman" (the agreed-upon moniker for all things prostate and testicular cancer-related) posing almost nude - Victoria Secret girlfriend Anne Vyalitsyna's hands are strategically placed in front of his crotch and, for some reason I'll never understand, in front of his right tit - hoping to raise awareness of this silent killer because...he's nude.

And that's the rub. Who is Adam appealing to? The working class stiffs in England who, after a long day at the factory or the office want to come home to their wives, their kids and their flat to find a hairy, almost-naked American pop star pleading with them to get their balls fondled and their anus probed? Wouldn't it make more sense to, say, have a man almost naked in a fur commercial since women are the largest purchasers of fur and then have a woman, say, appearing to fondle a man's balls in an ad for testicular cancer?

Personally, I don't care who fondles my balls or fingers my cavities as long as they're younger, in better shape and whisper sweet nothings while reminding me that I'm at an age where I even have to think about my balls and my ass in ways that aren't always sexual anymore.

How about a cure for that?


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