This topic almost seems too inconsequential to mention, as if I'm desperately searching for things to complain about. But if I don't speak out, who will? There's another increasing epidemic in online porn that, for lack of a better term, really burns my ass. Because a high percentage of online porn sites that offer original exclusive vids are produced by amateurs, the professional polish that is needed to make a satisfying product is just not happening. While it's true that there are some good sites and some incredibly hot amateur performers who we are lucky to spend time with, I'm just getting darned tired of poorly produced sites that are being run by morons who know nothing about polish or the necessary details it takes to make something look good. The thrust of this particular gripe is the state of asses in online amateur porn.

I'm not much of an ass man, and it tends to be one of the last body parts I look at when sizing up a model. However, a good ass is a good ass, and I certainly don't ignore them. What I have noticed in recent weeks as I've scoured several amateur porn site archives of original vids is that there are some goddamned ugly asses in the world. Of course, not everyone can have an edible ass, and that's just fine, but if your ass is gonna be in porn, I think the least a model can do is wash out that arsehole and make those cheeks look at least marginally presentable. Because many models in amateur porn are just your average boy-next-door types, they often don't have the perfect this or perfect that, and that's fine by me because 'perfect' gets old after a while. The key is variety, everything from ordinary modestly-hung schmoes to ultra masculine big-dicked babes. But what I will not accept on any model is a pimple-infested nasty ass.

I visited three amateur sites last week who have massive archives, and while the average skin blemish on a model isn't really that important, I was amazed at the number of repulsive asses I saw. In fact, one particular site had long extreme close-ups of some of the nastiest, zittiest, reddest (and I imagine stinky, too) asses I've ever seen. Okay, so we can't all have great asses, but that isn't even the point, nor is the point that models should give their heinies an overhaul before stepping in front of a camera. The fault lays with the producers who obviously haven't done their homework and have no concept of how to properly prepare a model for shooting. When it comes to asses, I don't care if the model is one of the sexiest boys alive, if he's got a nasty ass, don't show it to us! And, if you must show it to us, you better light it properly or apply some make-up to hide all 48 of those yucky zits. One site features this marvelously cute boy named Shaggy in several jackoff vids, but every time they presented close-ups of his ass, it completely turned me off because it was no nasty. You could easily connect the dots on that boy's ass, and while I just love seeing the rest of him, his butt needs to stay home. I can't imagine anyone looking at an ass like that and thinking it's hot, no matter who it's attached to. And, you would think that the man behind the camera would realize that what he's looking at is fucking gross. Is it a lack of attention? Is it a lack of care in applying make-up and other preparations to make a model all he can be on screen? It's both and more.

The lesson to be learned here is that there are some models who look amazing no matter how you shoot them. You know, there are just those boys who are flawlessly photogenic from the tippy-tops of their heads right down to their toes. But the reality is that most models are not that marvelous and, like most people, have some parts that are yummier than others. Some models may have a great face and a killer body, but a nappy penis. Some dudes have a gorgeous cockubus but a face that could frighten Medusa. Some have a perfect bubble butt and nothing else. The point is that a discerning producer and/or cameraman can and should get a sense of his model and check him out to assess what looks good and what doesn't. From there, he shoots footage that will present the model in the best possible light, and he leaves out the stuff that looks nasty or isn't worth showing at all. Unfortunately, a lot of these amateur producers seem to think that all they have to do is turn on the camera and let it run endlessly, capturing everything they possibly can and editing very little or nothing out. The result is a big mess that lacks cohesion and tightness, and we sometimes have to see the parts of the model that we wish we hadn't.

It just seems to me that anyone with half a brain should be able to spot a gross derriere with relative ease, and if that individual is behind a camera, one would think he would pan left or right and photograph something more appealing. If you're watching a vid and thinking about popping the zits on some dude's ass rather than how much you'd like to fuck it, then something is seriously wrong with the scene. Oh, and if I see one more hairy asshole with little balls of lint stuck in the ass-hairs and strange brown stains around the crack, I'm gonna hurl all over myself.



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