back hair

We're going to delve deep into one of the most controversial issues of modern times. Back Hair: Hot or Fuck No?

Full disclosure that I was totally in the "fuck no" camp going into this, but now I'm not so sure. Especially seeing guys with extremely hairy backs, there's something sexily animalistic about it. Like they ate about 300 testosterone-filled cupcakes and their backs sprouted. Like their backs have more hair than Lady Bunny's wig closet. And like they don't give a fuck about it and will flash their backs to the world. Or at least at the bear/otter bar.

So now I know if there's a guy I don't dig (who happens to have back hair), it's unlikely the back hair is the only factor (or a factor at all). It's just easier to focus on that than all the other crap I'm not into, like if he takes 3 weeks to text me back. I hate that!

As for grooming though, I'm all for it. It's your body and do what you want with it. I also think, since this is super political, that if you have a preference, it's okay to share that info with a guy and he may or may not choose to groom himself (or let his hair grow out) to match what you're into. Or he may just keep himself as is and then it's up to you if that's a deal breaker.

Personally, if someone told me what would turn them on, and it didn't cause global thermonuclear war, I'd give it a shot. Because when someone tells you what would turn them on, they're actually being majorly vulnerable because if you fucking do it, they will be so much more into you. But only do it if you want to do it.

Are you jealous of all the societal love and privileges hairy-backed men get, like free samples at Godiva Chocolates at the mall, and the right to try on clothes in the Macy's dressing rooms? Oh wait, hairy-backed men don't get any extra privileges. Well, if you're smooth and still want in, try a back toupée. I haven't looked at those naked pictures of Jennifer Lawrence, but I think she might be wearing one. Allegedly.

Now enjoy a rousing (and arousing) game of Spot the Back Hair in the Bareback Orgy. Ironic to have back hair with bareback, isn't it?

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