Noah writes gay porn site reviews for GayDemon, with the goal of being the Pauline Kael of porn (except for the part where she's dead). He got his start writing dirty stories for classic print mags in the '90s. He also wrote a modestly popular solo blog for five years, zines, and a column in an alt-weekly. He calls Seattle home and plans to be a holographic interstellar porn model in 2039.

  • Flashback: The Art of Dick and Ass

    Flashback: The Art of Dick and Ass

    Dick and Ass are great artists. Right up there with Mona and Lisa. I think the art movement Dick and Ass were a part of was Penile Expressionism. And Abstract Analism. 

    Or I would totally be sure about this if I'd ever taken an art history class. Though I figure vintage gay porn is pretty much all that's worth studying. Because you learn so damn much. 

    Watch Vintage Gay Porn at Retro Males

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  • Public Exposure: Drop 'Em

    Public Exposure: Drop 'Em

    Pulling a guy's pants down in public is totally hot, I mean wrong. Really really wrong. Even if you want to see him with his pants down and shower him with praise and semen. It's wrong because it's nonconsensual and just sketchy and mean and horrible.

    So thank the cosmos there's a plethora of guys who pull their own pants down wherever. Thank you to all the self pants puller downers for brightening our days.

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  • Kink Spotlight: Silver Daddies

    Kink Spotlight: Silver Daddies

    When someone is old enough to know who they are deep down, they shouldn't super mind being utterly objectified for also happening to be a silver daddy. Or silver fox. Or silver giraffe. 

    Probably not silver giraffe. Probably nobody is a silver giraffe. But if a guy were a silver giraffe, I bet he'd look good. Long tongue. Silver on silver fur patterns. Vegetarian. All excellent qualities.

    Like Silver Foxes? Check Out the Daddies Here

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  • Flashback: Cock Is Always in Fashion

    Flashback: Cock Is Always in Fashion

    Hairstyles change (unless you're a monk) and clothing styles change (unless you're a monk) but cock is always in fashion (especially if you're a monk).

    I totally follow lots of monks on Instagram so I ought to know.

    The person I need to pay tribute to here is the focused cocksucker who is not allowing himself to be distracted by the magnificent hairdo of the suckee. The wavy, semi-feathered seductiveness. The guy's muscular, lean body don't hurt either.

    Watch Vintage Porn at Retro Males

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  • Public Exposure: Naked Nice Guys

    Public Exposure: Naked Nice Guys

    No idea if these guys are actually nice but they're not doing anything nasty. Just being naked in public, innocently going about their penisy, assy, titty business.

    Considering how we all slog through mundane activities, nudity could sure brighten our days and that of onlookers. Or simply give the police something to do.

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  • Kink Spotlight: Shaved Cock

    Kink Spotlight: Shaved Cock

    Shaved crotch cock. It's not just for crabs anymore. Nope, it's a simple body modification that says a lot. Such as "look at my whole damn cock with nothing in the way" or "suck my whole damn cock with nothing in the way" or "I love looking at myself smooth and jacking my whole damn cock with nothing in the way."

    Or just a what the fuck why not moment.

    Now I'm not going to instruct you how to do it beyond safely trim first, then shave if you dare with the grain and after shaving creaming the hell out of it. And it's totally a flexible razor head moment. I accept no responsibility for nicks. Especially Nicholas Cage. 

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  • Flashback: Pre-Internet Muscles and Dick and Ass

    Flashback: Pre-Internet Muscles and Dick and Ass

    When you're pre-something, you don't know you're pre-it. You just are. Still in their time, thousands of folks still saw these, whether in wink-wink physique mags or blatant gay porn. Saw and sometimes ejaculated upon.

    That doesn't work as well with pics on the internet. There's no MacRag. Though all this marketing about water-resistant devices is likely trying to reach the massive cum spray audience. And sailors. 

    Sometimes there's an overlap there. A muscular, spasmodic, splattery overlap. 

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  • Public Exposure: Whip It Out

    Public Exposure: Whip It Out

    Dick or ass or both. They're yours to whip out or yours to watch, depending on what you're packing. 

    The "whip it out and jerk it off" guy is a different species than the "whip it out and let it hang" guy. If you're a penis scientist, the distinction is quite important to you.

    If you're more a "oh wow he whipped it out, fuck that's hot" person, then science can go out the window.

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  • Kink Spotlight: Total Exposure

    Kink Spotlight: Total Exposure

    Having a few Polaroids floating around, collecting dust in an ex-boyfriend's underwear drawer, is not the same as full face, cock, and ass exposure online. And it's especially not the same as intentionally fully exposing oneself online.

    Unless one has a vindictive ex-boyfriend who tries to make it the same. But it's still not because take this guy, for example. He's reveling in exposing himself to the masturbating masses. That's why he's doing what he's doing. And we're all better for it.

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  • Flashback: Time to Time Travel

    Flashback: Time to Time Travel

    Yep, and while you're back in time paying these hustlers/physique models $10 for the privilege of blowing them, make sure to pick up some mid-century modern furniture and decorative objects so you have something to show for it beyond an ejaculated-upon face.

    So do guys you've only seen in black and white photos ejaculate exclusively in black and white? Moan in black and white? Be sort of homosexual in black and white? I sort of hope so.

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