Ask GayDemon: Toes vs. Hole

I think my foot fetish is getting out of control. I’ve started preferring to suck my boyfriends toes rather than fuck. I just jerk off instead. I know he gets bored of it. Please help me find the fun in fucking again!
-Stymied Shrimper

You want me to help you find the fun in something that you don't find fun. Why? Because you're supposed to find fun in it because a lot of other people do, including your boyfriend? Well a lot of people find a lot of different sex acts fun, but not all would be fun for you, or for your boyfriend either. Because we're sexual individuals.

Being gay and all that does not make us part of a sexual monolith. You have some highly self-judgmental wording here, from "getting out of control" to "just jerk off".

But if you both were super into fucking and did so like the proverbial bunnies, fully in sync with each other, would you say "I think my anal sex fetish is getting out of control"? Answer that one for yourself and then apply the same answer to your so labeled foot fetish. As well as to your desire to jerk off, assumedly with your boyfriend there.

Perhaps even a combo of sucking his toes while jacking yourself off? How out of control! It's almost like you're having an exciting sexual experience with a boyfriend who shares your kink to the point that he's actually enacting it with you.

If he's so horrifically bored, that isn't innately because of the individual sex acts you're doing, but rather the lack of variety. Now if you genuinely need some foot-related situation to occur during every sexual encounter., you could think of a range. Him being barefoot for example. Or in certain socks you like. Or teasing you with foot action, talking to you about it, while jacking your dick. Diversify the ways you connect around it, which is not the same as eliminating a fetish or replacing it with something else, or even suppressing t in any way.

If he genuinely hates it and it's deal breaker level then you're not a match sexually and that happens so come to terms with it together and move forward in whatever form your connection takes. But if you instead think about adding to your sexual experiences, learning his interests more and finding your desire to be close to hm and expressing that sexually, being sweet, kind, rough, nasty, whatever is natural to you, then that's where you can find that excitement.

Most importantly, talk this out with him, a lot. Because "I know he gets bored of it" is such an oversimplification it's not fully capturing his feelings, or possibilities he sees. This isn't a problem. This is an opportunity for you both to be true to yourselves sexually and open yourselves up to possibility.

Now suck my toes while I jack off. Which actually sounds likea  pretty good afternoon to me. Because despite the pejoratively used "buttfucker", anal sex is the one thing people of all genders and orientations can practice. It's not a gay requirement. But i relationships, communication is. Start talking.

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