Ask GayDemon: Not Looking for Mr. Right Now

I'm not into hookups anymore because I'm looking for Mr. Right. But where do I look? It seems everything and everybody is about no strings attached. I'm so frustrated. Help!

-Strings Please

What's it called when you're blue-balled but for a husband? Like you're aching for one and can't get release. The release one of those newfangled legal gay weddings would get you. Not to mention the presents.

It's not how you meet. It's that you meet. So it doesn't much matter where or under what circumstance, just that you and he become aware of each other and interact in some way. And get each other's number/email/Bat Signal.

It's just not true that everyone is only looking for hookups. Even guys on hookups apps may be looking for more, especially if they suddenly find it and notice. Like what if a random hookup has an amazing sense of humor. And is sweet as hell. And has a great smile. And shows up on time. And is amazing in bed. And wants to see you again. Is that whole thing irrelevant because of how you met?

That said, you're not into hookups but the same things that would make someone husband material (for you) apply whether you meet on a hookup or at a poetry reading. Or at a nude poetry reading. There is something to be said for meeting someone based on a shared interest because it gives a way to interact that isn't sexualized too soon. But there's a balance because some sexual tension can be awesome. If you just meet people as individuals, act true to yourself, and don't let how you meet limit possibilities.

This gets into the idea of how can two men interact without their being an instantly sexual component. You don't need to push away sexual energy. You can play with it by flirting when you're ready. It's not an all or nothing thing, like if you don't have sex right away, then a guy will think you aren't interested in ever having it.

It takes both people being genuinely interested and allowing sexual energy to flow naturally, not out of insecurity. I'm not saying you think "If I don't put out, he won't like me" but at the same time what you're experiencing is "How can I not put out and still meet people and have them like me?"

By finding a guy who's into you. Genuinely. And how will he know when he's found what he's looking for in you? When you express that you're into him. Genuinely.

As for finding Mr. Right, allow that you may find dozens. So Mr. Right Now can be an okay thing, even if Right Now is 2 weeks or 2 months or 20 years. The constant is you. Growing.

Now forget all of the above and do lots of squats so you have a bubble butt guys wantbecause all guys are pigs!

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