Ask GayDemon: Naked Gay vs. Clothed Straight

My straight roommate saw me coming out of the shower the other morning and ever since he's been making suggestive remarks about my big penis. Last night he said, "I don't know how you don't have a boyfriend with a big cock like that." I have always found him sexy and I'd bone him in a minute, but I don't want to ruin a good thing, especially if I'm wrong about his intentions. Is he just being funny or is he fishing for sex? Maybe he's not straight. I'm confused.

-Naked and Gay

Of course you're confused. You have a big cock. And apparently noticeably big when soft as well. Guys with big dicks are generally confused most of time. So you can use that to your advantage.

So say to him "My big dick wants to know if you want to play with it so it's making me ask you that." Or "We both know the reason I don't have a boyfriend is because not enough guys know I have a big dick so can you tell everyone for me, and in so doing remind yourself that I have a big dick and so you'll keep thinking about my big dick a lot and maybe want to do stuff with it?"

On second thought, this may be one of those situations in which indirect communication is best, since you really don't know a damn thing about his intentions.

Accept that some guys are secure enough to do platonic, cock talk with someone, that someone being a gay roommate. You're already living with someone who is fine with you being gay, which he better be because hello. In fact, I might think it was more flirty of him if you were both straight-identified. Because he may think that since you're gay, body part related talk is super not a big deal to you, that it doesn't stand out in your day as anything major.

Also realize that you may be able to have a roommate that you occasionally have sex with and not have it ruin the roommate thing. Since most roommate situations are temporary anyway, it just depends the level of risk you want to take, so being very gradual in your approach could be the way to go.

Do you actually feel comfortable being semi-nude around the place more often? Have breakfast in your pajamas, say only the bottom half. Or in a robe only. Have normal conversations with him like that and see if any sexual tension builds up. Just keep eye contact and listen to him. Sort of project boyfriend vibes without being explicit about it.

Still, I get wanting to keep it all separate. And you may not be into being someone's first, if you would even be that. Also, it may be more emotional for you than for him, which isn't to say that you could get some of those needs met if he's a decent guy.

The very tension you feel is the way to figure this out. Let the tension build. Maybe go clothes shopping with him some time, or ask to borrow some of his clothes, or lend him something, as an excuse to comment on his appearance.

A lot of this can be done fully platonically. And nudity can be fully platonic too.

But overall, he may have some unfortunate stereotypes here. A big dick doesn't guarantee intimacy and in fact can take focus away from other needs, like your apparent need to show off your naked body in front of your roommate. Because with roommates, I have generally closed the bathroom door when showering and not invited entry. So you must have done something different in this case. Seems you may be the one interested in him or at least in his attention.

So have fun with it. Soon you may be taking a shower together, which may or may not be a horrible and/or exciting experience.

Remember, though, you don't need to be his coming out guide to the universe. But you may want to watch a gay-themed (actually good) movie together to see if it brings out anything, like Edge of Seventeen or My Beautiful Laundrette or Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. Kirk and Spock are roommates on a spaceship and have an amazing sex scene. I may be imagining that last bit.

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