Ask GayDemon: Leaky Faucet

Something incredibly embarrassing happened to me at a dance club the other day. I was dancing in just some speedos (as you do) and I got a bit turned on. The fact I had a semi boner wasn’t really an issue because it just looked like I was packing and that’s a good thing, right? But so much precum leaked out it almost looked like I’d pissed myself and it’s not that kind of club! How do I stop myself from leaking so much?
-Drippety Drip Drip

You need to find out if the dance club has precum insurance. Because if someone slips on your mess, you don't want the liability to land on you. I wouldn't worry about a drag queen slipping on her heels because they're used to walking through body fluids. It's the twinks who are most likely to slip and crash.

Suddenly I'm picturing a bowling alley with 10 twinks at he pins and a giant precum covered bowling ball rolling toward them in a destructive path.

Next, you'll want to get a garbage bag, a rubber band, some duct tape, and a vacuum cleaner. Attach the vacuum cleaner to your nose to create suction and bring part of the precum back into your body. Then attach the garbage bag to your speedo-covered penis, affixing a rubber band and then sealing with duct tape.

Then dance the night away secure in the knowledge that nobody will be the wiser.

Better make that a wet vac. Just stay close to the outlet so nobody trips on the cord.

Alternately, put some damn pants on, and a couple layers of underwear (one underneath the pants, one over the pants). That ought to fully solve the issue. And you're guaranteed to attract quality men into such things.

Final option is find a portable cocksucker to address the issue first hand. And mouth. Hopefully he can blend in on the dance floor and dance while squatting.

You're welcome.

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