Ask GayDemon: Kinky Customer

I've been single for a couple of years. Because as Margaret Cho says: "It seems I lack the low self-esteem to make the necessary compromises." Or I'm just an ugly loser!? But, even if I'm that, I'm an ugly loser with a high sex drive (plus a kinky streak). And I just haven't been very social lately. I kind of keep to myself. Majorly. And I'm about to burst. Is hiring an escort a good idea?
-Hooker Help Wanted

Hiring an escort is a terrible idea. You'd have to pay the guy. That's a terrible idea! For $150 you could get 40 loaves of brear. And eat them all! Plus he'd just blow all the money on jeans and baseball caps and lottery tickets and really loud sneakers.

Which is really great for the Jeans & Caps & Lottery Tix & Sneaks Emporium, but not great for you.

Now on to the real negatives, since whether you can afford it or not is up to you to solve. Actual negatives could be that you feel you could only find someone to have sex with if you pay them. Or that you become somehow emotionally involved or dependent on the escort, rather than looking at it as an exchange of money for services rendered.

Still, having the "boyfriend experience" type of appointment is a valid choice if it doesn't leave you lonelier, or wanting in some way. Thing is, any time-limited, expensive interaction can be challenging, whether it's a massage visit, or an appointment with your primary care provider. It's just stressful.

And it can be a positive experience to hire an escort if you go into it with full awareness, and find someone trustworthy (escort review sites are a thing), and who is a good communicator. Consider that even if you find a long term relationship, you may have some kinky interests your partner doesn't share. And an escort could be a nice addition to your sex life (with your partner's full knowledge).

It's not about you looking for someone to briefly rescue you from your sorry existence, but rather an expression of your sexuality, and that expression does sometimes need another person with whom to interact.

You may want to try out certain kinks in a nonjudgmental environment. Of course the escort may secretly judge you later when his husband asks about his work day, but you don't need to know that.

Overall though, I don't want you to feel limited in your sexual explorations. There are kinksters out there who are also just happy to talk about their interests and fantasies, rather than only engage with them at 100% hardcore levels. Even if you do go the escort route, even once to try it out, in a sense you'll need to be the author of the encounter, verbalizing your needs. A good escort will want you to have a good experience for obvious reasons.

So if that creates a new standard for dating situations where you require someone who cares about meeting your needs (sexual and otherwise) and who finds you absolutely handsome (and we all are to someone), then that's a good outcome.

Just make sure to be smart about how you find the escort. Where you first meet, going with your gut about safety of the situation (and I don't just mean STI prevention).

And make sure his dick is huge, as why the fuck not? It's your (soon to e his) money.

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