I met a new buddy online and we are hanging out a lot, just doing stuff friends do. Things like going for coffee and maybe a few drinks, and going out for lunch together. Then when he’s not around he texts me really flirtatious messages. I think he’s cute, but if I took that as a green light to fool around with him, won’t that make being friends awkward?
-Friend Without Benefits
Him flirting with you is him flirting with you. It's not a green light to fool around with him in the future. It's not like he sends some texts and you have free rein to cum on his face. There are some steps in between.
So I hate to break it to you but you two are dating. And just because you haven't had sex yet doesn't mean it's purely platonic. I don't know what site or app you met on, but it almost doesn't matter. People can meet on Scruff and end up workout partners or going to the movies together or whatever. Like married.
You do think he's cute. You enjoy spending time together. And you also seem puzzled at what to do when he flirts with you. The curious thing here is he doesn't seem to flirt much with you in person. At least not literally. But spending time with you at all, paying attention to you at all, especially repeatedly. is essentially flirting.
But he's not being explicit about it when in person. He's wanting you to take more of the lead with that. He's signaling that he's open to you flirting back, wondering if you are interested in flirting. He's not trying to get you to fuck him instantly. He just wants to know if this is a dating thing or platonic. And you two may discover if you move into an actual dating phase that you prefer a platonic connection.
That discovery is not awkward. It's just true. Best you learn how to navigate friendships, dating and every combination if you want to keep all your options open. He sounds special. Don't take this situation for granted. I'm not saying flirt back by text. Try flirting in person and see how it feels. Tell him you think he's cute. Because you do think he's cute. And friends are honest. You don't need to stop being friends if you start flirting. You can have it all.
If that's too big a step for you (sounds like both of you are a bit shy, also cute) then go with saying his shirt is cute. Then his pants. Pants are dirtier sounding. Then go in for the you have amazing eyes. Then maybe a you're so handsome.
I'll be in the wedding party, but I'm not wearing an ugly bridesmaid's dress. Or probably not. Maybe something strapless. Or jockstrapless if that's a thing.
Send your question to [email protected].