Ask GayDemon: Floppy Bottom

I'm taking chems when having sex. I've found that they make me so horny and go for the whole night, if not days! But they make my cock floppy so I bottom more than I want to. What can I do?

-Open for Business

There's a strap-on with your name on it. Since neither the natural sexual power of love (if you're wired that way) nor the sexual power of genuine desire keeps you going for the whole night, even days, you're going to need some man-made assistance. Pardon me while I attempt to not laugh picturing your floppy dick below a long, thick, perma-hard strap-on. The guy on the receiving end can say with pride that you "one and a half dicked him good."

It's no double-dicking but it's still pretty good.

I get that may not satisfy your cravings to be a top. So just focus on pumping hard, really making him feel it. Of course, all you'll feel is the base of the dildo pressing against that indentation right above your cock. But, it's something. In essence, you'll be topping him as a lesbian (or any women in a strap-on) would.

Which means, you'll need keep an eye out for your female competition. They're more experienced wielding strap-ons and in some cases, have more to prove. So do what you can with the rest of your body to showcase your maleness. After all, it's not all about cock. You also have balls. Put your balls in his mouth, or if he's a sloppy bottom, put your balls in his ass. It'll be like the meeting of Floppy Top and Sloppy Bottom. That would look perfect on a wedding invitation. I know a calligrapher you can use who can really put some beautiful swoops in those double "p"s.

Also consider there are thigh strap-ons. And even forehead ones. Since you said you are bottoming more than you want to, that implies that you do want to bottom sometimes at least. All the strap-on options make three-ways a greater possibility.

Don't quit the chems though. Then you'll just end up with your regular erection and have the sex you want. And nobody wants or deserves to have the sex he wants. Just leads to disappointment when after 25 years of having the sex you want, you have an off day. Totally not worth it.

Still, I can't believe Skittles, with all their chemicals, causes a floppy dick?! That is what you mean by chems, right? Those brightly-colored, yet totally artificial candies? Maybe next time, don't shove them so hard up your urethra. That's bound to cause problems.

Send your question to [email protected]

Tags: (63),

Bookmark and Share

blog comments powered by Disqus