Ask GayDemon: Am I Gay?

I'm 32 and have only ever fucked girls, but I find men more attractive than women. Does this mean I'm gay? When I'm watching straight porn I think I'm watching him more than her.

-Confused Fucker

Isn't sexual disorientation grand? Without needing to know anything more about you, I can definitely say your dick is straight and your mind is gay. So as long as you keep your mind out of it, you can keep on fucking women with your dick and that dick of yours (plus the vaginas and female anuses and mouths it penetrates) can be none the wiser as to all the supergayness inside your head.

But what if the gayness intermixes with the straightness. In addition to making you a one-man cast of Real World, it could have serious consequences, such as being a one-man cast of Real World. Though probably don't worry about that one. You're way too old for MTV. So here are some other things you should be concerned about:

  • Getting hassled at your local straight sports bar when you ask the bartender to change the big screen from the big game to RuPaul's Drag Race.
  • Getting hassled at your local gay drag bar when you ask the bartender to do absolutely anything.
  • Starting a fancy recipe in a gay moment, then turning straight halfway through and fucking it up.
  • Penetrating a vegina in a straight moment, then turning gay halfway through and starting to cry.
  • If your primary goal is to impregnate someone and be some sort of not awful father, you may experience difficulty in attempting to impregnate a man. Because, as I recently learned, Arnold Schwarzenegger did not really get pregnant in that movie. Because it was a movie.
  • The gay and straight so intermixing that you are permanently bi. Then you won't know how to cook or fuck or anything. Unless it's a bisexual threeway and the ultimate gay/straight recipe: hot dog soufflé.

Now I could say forget labels at all and just be yourself, but without labels how are you supposed to make a personal ad? And without labels how will people be able to discriminate against you? There are so many good reasons for labels.

If you're still confused, since I've been so clear, your confusion would be proof of you being straight. Because straight people are just full-on confused.

Overall though, society pushes guys to be straight so if you have gay feelings at all, they mean something and are coming from you. But there's still a big difference between homosexual desire and gay identity. You don't need to be into gay culture to be attracted to men or vice versa. Why don't you check out some gay porn and see if you look get off solely looking at guys. And perhaps you have before as you're a reader of, well, GayDemon, hello!

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