A friend of mine stated this to me recently: 'The acting in porn is sooo bad. I just can't stand it. That's why I don't watch porn 'cause it's so silly and badly performed'. Oh'I'm sorry, were you expecting a soliloquy from Hamlet by Larry Olivier? Come on, for fuck's sake, it's porn! Everybody knows the acting is bad, and considering that porn is about fucking and sucking and other delicacies, the quality of the acting is ultimately irrelevant. In fact, the worse the acting is, the more fun the whole affair is to watch.

You can pop any ole porn into your DVD player, and if it happens to be one that attempts to present a storyline or some sense of continuity, the actors will always but always stink. If they could act, they'd be on stage or in mainstream film. But think about it'isn't it more of a hoot to watch some hung little hottie stumble over his dialogue and suffer through awkward pauses while he's desperately trying to be convincing? I think it's fuckin' hilarious and slightly sweet. Some of the dialogue between porn performers is so hysterical that I've found myself jokingly quoting it later in certain situations to lighten the mood.

The only performance area in porn that can and should be enhanced by believability is erotic energy. Succinctly, if a porn star can convince you that he is truly turned on, whether by himself or a partner, and if he can convince you that those screams of pleasure mixed with pain are real, and if he can convince you that he's having the best suck or fuck of the century'now that's good porn acting. I've seen all sorts of boys from all over the world. Some of them are intensely erotic and can convince you of anything they want to, while others can't even remotely pretend that what they're doing feels good or provokes any true sensation out of them. That's when porn acting or lack of it becomes annoying, when the performer is a stiff with not an ounce of bravado for the craft.

If you want true acting with characters and plot points, don't watch a porn. That's like watching a Lassie movie to learn about water buffalo. For those who can't get beyond the lousy acting, lighten up, will ya? It's supposed to be mindless, fun entertainment to get you off. You're not screening porn for Academy Award consideration, after all. However, just as a point of interest, one former porn star comes to mind who actually had a commitment to the craft of acting, and that was Johnny Rahm. Johnny was one of the few porn stars who created different characters in many of his performances, and he even adapted different accents and looks from vid to vid. I was always impressed with his ability to put a true character actor spin on porn, and some time in the early 1990s when his career was at its height, I actually saw him on the Jerry Lewis MDA telethon doing impressions'and he was fucking great!

Bottom line: embrace bad porn acting. It's part of the charm, and without it, we'd be taking ourselves just a little too seriously. Besides, how could anyone ever take lines of dialogue like 'oh yeah, suck me, bitch' or 'take that dick, pussy boy' with a straight and serious face. It would be interesting to see someone attempt to create a porn with a true screenplay and trained actors. I can only imagine the casting and see the headlines: 'Brad Pitt spooges on Matt Damon's face and licks it off in the latest Jerry Fuckheimer masterpiece, Bagel Boys in New York'.



Bookmark and Share

blog comments powered by Disqus