Can you guess what makes this pit of a motel room on par with the finest hotels in France? And I mean the France that's in Europe. Is it the magnificent bedspread? The toilet? Or perhaps the stain resistant carpeting? No, it's the complimentary non-dairy creamer. As delivered by the world's oldest and most weathered and jaded bellhop.

You know you're a sex hound when it's a sunny day and your shades are drawn. Now that's commitment.

There's something Zen about sucking dick with one's arms crossed over one's chest self-stimulating those nipples. Now that's a lifestyle choice I can get behind. Nipple masturbating cocksucker rights now!

4 star hotel

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